John Henry Was a Screenwriting Man

With apologies to Doc Watson

John Henry was a screenwriting man
Wrote scripts in LaLa Land
And he said, “I won’t let AI beat me down
I’ll die with Final Draft in my hand, Lord, Lord
I’ll die with Final Draft in my hand”

The studios had their algorithms
They wrote scripts for almost free
John Henry saved the cat in the first act
While that AI saved it in all three, Lord, Lord
That AI saved it in all three

John Henry knew about Joseph Campbell
His characters went on mythic journeys
While the AI stole from every book
And got letters from attorneys, Lord, Lord
It got letters from attorneys

John Henry kept right on writing
The AI did the same
But John Henry couldn’t type as fast
As that AI with an electric brain, Lord, Lord
As that AI with an electric brain

So John Henry moved down to Austin
Decided to become a salesman
He paddled the lake and ate big steaks
But he’ll never be Vince Gilligan, Lord, Lord
He’ll never be Vince Gilligan

The AI kept right on writing
John Henry grew old and sad
The studios saved a few bucks
But there wasn’t another Breaking Bad, Lord, Lord
There wasn’t another Breaking Bad